Mend The Marriage vs His Secret Obsession: Which Women's Relationship Guide?

Both guides are designed for women in troubled relationships, but they operate on opposite assumptions. His Secret Obsession is a solo framework — the woman reads the Hero Instinct research, applies specific-appreciation techniques herself, and her partner does not need to buy in or even know she is using the guide. Mend The Marriage is a couples program — 150 pages of communication tools, audio sessions, short videos, and printable worksheets that only work if both partners sit down and do the exercises together. The question that settles this: is your partner willing to participate, or are you working on reconnection on your own?

Quick Comparison

	His Secret Obsession	Mend The Marriage
Best For	Women whose partner has emotionally withdrawn and who are working on reconnection alone	Couples where both partners are willing to engage with joint exercises together
Partner Participation	Not required — she reads it and applies it; partner does not need to know	Required — the exercises stall completely if only one person shows up
Core Approach	Hero Instinct framework: specific appreciation and making him feel needed and seen	Relationship-repair framework: communication drills, audio sessions, and worksheets done together
Format	~200-page PDF, 8 chapters, example phrases and scripts	150-page PDF + audio MP3s + 5–7 short videos + printable worksheets
Price	$47 one-time	$26 one-time
Recurring Billing	Optional coaching subscription after checkout — not pre-ticked	Optional $37/month members area after checkout — not pre-ticked
Refund	60 days, ClickBank-honored	60 days, ClickBank-honored
ClickBank Gravity	45.26 (far higher — thirteen times the audience)	3.51
Earned Per Sale	$75.48	$31.45
Rating	9.2/10	8.7/10

His Secret Obsession: Best for women working on reconnection alone

Use this if:

• Your partner has emotionally withdrawn and you want to understand what is happening before deciding what to do
• You are not ready (or able) to start a joint program — you want to work on reconnection on your own first
• You want a research-grounded framework (the Hero Instinct maps to Gottman-tradition attachment and specific appreciation research) rather than a generic communication course
• You are willing to spend $47 on a single guide you own outright with no strings attached

The method: The core guide covers eight chapters on the Hero Instinct framework — the psychological pattern where people respond strongly to feeling specifically appreciated, needed, and seen by their partner. The standout chapters are on specific appreciation: the guide teaches you to give appreciation that is precise and genuine rather than vague and generic. Applied consistently, this tends to reduce defensiveness and increase emotional presence. The example phrases in later chapters work best as templates — translate them into your own voice rather than reading them word-for-word to a partner who knows you.

Strength: Gravity at 45.26 is the highest in the women’s relationship niche, meaning far more buyers have found real value here than in any comparable guide. The book reads calmer and more measured than its sales page suggests. The appreciation framework aligns with mainstream Gottman-tradition couples research, which makes the advice easier to trust and apply.

Weakness: The “Secret Phrases” chapters sound scripted when used verbatim with a partner who knows you well — they need adaptation into your own words. An optional coaching subscription is offered after checkout and rebills monthly; skip it if you only want the book. Our Save The Marriage System and Mend The Marriage comparison picks a winner.

Cost reality: $47 one-time. Optional coaching subscription offered after checkout — decline it and your cost stays at $47. Refund: 60 days, ClickBank-honored.

Mend The Marriage: Best for couples doing the work together

Use this if:

• Both you and your partner are willing to do exercises and work through a program together right now
• You want more format variety than a single PDF: audio sessions you can listen to together, short videos to watch side by side, and worksheets to fill in as a couple
• Communication has mostly shut down between you and you want a guided framework to restart it
• You want the lowest price in this comparison ($26 one-time) and your partner is already in

The method: The 150-page guide covers a relationship-repair framework drawn from therapy-adjacent communication techniques — active listening, “I” statements, and structured exercises that push couples to name what is actually broken. The audio version (MP3) lets couples listen together in the car or at home. The five to seven short videos reinforce each main concept in a second format. The printable worksheets guide both partners through the exercises step by step and are the program’s most practically useful asset.

Strength: The most format-complete package at this price point — PDF, audio, video, and worksheets for $26. The communication drills come from proven couples-therapy approaches and work when both partners consistently do them. $21 cheaper than His Secret Obsession. Our short answer on whether Mend The Marriage is worth it is in the guide.

Weakness: Gravity at 3.51 is significantly lower than His Secret Obsession’s 45.26, indicating fewer buyers have found it as useful. The program stalls completely if only one partner participates — it is a fundamentally joint commitment. The short video series (five to seven clips) mostly replays the PDF content and adds little new information on its own. For a side-by-side verdict, see Mend The Marriage versus What Men Secretly Want.

Cost reality: $26 one-time. Optional $37/month members area offered after checkout — decline it and your cost stays at $26. Refund: 60 days, ClickBank-honored.

Which one should you choose?

Pick His Secret Obsession if:

• Your partner has emotionally withdrawn and is not ready (or willing) to commit to a couples program
• You want to work on reconnection using a framework you can apply entirely on your own
• Gravity (45.26 vs 3.51) matters to you as a market signal that far more buyers found real value here
• You are comfortable spending $47 on a guide that does not require anyone else’s participation

Pick Mend The Marriage if:

• Both you and your partner are committed to doing joint exercises together starting this week
• You want audio sessions you can listen to together in the car and short videos you can watch side by side
• $26 is the right price and you are confident your partner will show up for the exercises
• Communication has nearly stopped and you need a structured joint plan to restart it

Real talk

The most common mistake is buying Mend The Marriage hoping your partner will come around once you show it to him. He has to already be in. If that willingness is not there before you buy, the exercises stall on week one and the $26 is spent on good intentions. His Secret Obsession does not require that buy-in — you read it, apply the appreciation framework, and observe whether his emotional presence shifts before committing to a joint program.

His Secret Obsession’s gravity advantage (45.26 vs 3.51 — thirteen times the audience) and higher rating (9.2 vs 8.7) are strong market signals for most buyers. For women dealing with a partner who has gone quiet, HSO is the right first purchase. Add Mend The Marriage when — and only when — your partner is genuinely willing to sit down and do the work with you.

Both come with 60-day ClickBank refunds. If the framework is not helping within three weeks of consistent effort, the refund window is open.

Safety note: neither guide is designed for situations involving control, fear, or abuse. If you have ever felt unsafe in this relationship, please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 before starting any relationship program.