Head to head · The Ex Factor 2.0 vs His Secret Obsession

The Ex Factor 2.0 vs His Secret Obsession: Which Breakup/Reconnection Guide?

Compare The Ex Factor 2.0 and His Secret Obsession side-by-side: method, price, audience, and results. Both teach research-backed relationship skills but target different situations.

By Cal Reiner · Updated June 15, 2026

Our pick

His Secret Obsession 9.2/10

Worth $47 if your long-term relationship has gone quiet and you want a clear reconnection framework. Skip it if you expect magic phrases or need a safety plan.

Both guides teach real relationship skills backed by couples research. The key difference: The Ex Factor 2.0 is a full breakup recovery program, while His Secret Obsession is a reconnection guide for long-term relationships that have gone quiet.

Quick Comparison

The Ex Factor 2.0His Secret Obsession
Best ForPeople recently broken up; need a multi-week planWomen in relationships that have gone quiet; want to understand what’s happening
MethodNo contact → self-improvement → slow reconnectionHero Instinct framework (specific appreciation + being needed)
FormatsPDF guide, 10 videos, audio, worksheetsSingle book (200 pages)
Price$34 one-time$47 one-time
DurationMulti-week structured planNot time-bound; framework to apply ongoing
Refund60 days, ClickBank-honored60 days, ClickBank-honored
FocusHealing first; reconnection is secondaryReconnecting with a withdrawn partner
Research BaseGottman, Sue Johnson, established breakup psychologyGottman (turning toward), Sue Johnson (EFT), attachment theory

The Ex Factor 2.0: Best if you’re broken up

Use this if:

  • You just ended a relationship and need a clear recovery path
  • You want structured phases: no contact → self-work → reconnection
  • You learn better from video and audio alongside reading
  • You want worksheets and action plans to follow

The method: Start with no contact (space to reflect and heal). Then do self-improvement work (the program calls this “value-building”). Then slow reconnection through casual contact and testing the waters. Finally, decide: reconciliation or moving forward. We also put them head to head: His Secret Obsession vs Mend The Marriage.

Strength: It’s a full program, not just a framework. You get a 30-day action plan, worksheets, and ten video modules. The phases are clear, so you know what to do each week.

Weakness: It assumes some compatibility remains. If your ex has fully moved on or the relationship was unhealthy, the program teaches you how to recognize that too, but it’s built around the hope of reconnection.

Cost reality: $34 base price, but checkout offers upgrades (usually $67 premium + recurring plan). You can decline all upsells and keep it at $34.

His Secret Obsession: Best if the relationship went cold but didn’t end

Use this if:

  • Your long-term partner has emotionally withdrawn but you’re still together
  • You want to understand why the withdrawal happened
  • You want a framework for how to rebuild appreciation and connection
  • You prefer reading a single, calm book over a multi-format program

The method: The Hero Instinct framework teaches that men (the book assumes this dynamic) respond to feeling appreciated AND needed. The core chapters show how to express specific appreciation (not generic compliments) and how to create situations where he feels useful to you. We also put them head to head: His Secret Obsession vs Text Chemistry.

Strength: It’s shorter and more focused than a full breakup program. One book, no multiple formats to juggle. The appreciation chapters are actionable and grounded in real couples research. The tone is calm, not hype.

Weakness: The “Hero Instinct” name is marketing; the concept isn’t new. If you’ve read Gottman or Sue Johnson, you’ll recognize the underlying ideas. The example phrases can feel scripted if used word-for-word. Here is how His Secret Obsession compares with Infatuation Scripts.

Cost reality: $47 one-time. At checkout you’ll be offered an optional coaching subscription (rebills monthly). Decline it and your cost stays at $47.

Which one should you choose?

Pick The Ex Factor 2.0 if:

  • Your relationship recently ended and you need a plan to recover
  • You want structured phases (no contact, self-work, reconnection)
  • You learn better from video + audio + worksheets
  • You’re open to moving forward if reconnection doesn’t work

Pick His Secret Obsession if:

  • You’re still in the relationship but it’s gone cold/quiet
  • You want to understand the dynamic before deciding what to do
  • You prefer a focused framework over a multi-week program
  • You learn by reading and reflecting

Real talk

Both books overlap with mainstream couples research (Gottman, Sue Johnson). The difference is the context: one is for breakup recovery, the other is for cooling-off in a relationship that didn’t end.

If you’re broken up, The Ex Factor 2.0 is the better choice because its phases assume a hard break.

If you’re still together but distant, His Secret Obsession gives you a framework to understand what’s happening and try to reconnect.

If you want to pick just one and aren’t sure which situation applies, read His Secret Obsession first. It’s a quick read that will clarify whether the relationship is savageable. Then decide if you need The Ex Factor 2.0’s full program. We also put them head to head: His Secret Obsession vs Text Your Ex Back.

Both come with 60-day ClickBank refunds. Start with the one that matches your situation, and if it doesn’t fit after two weeks, ask for your money back. We also put them head to head: His Secret Obsession vs The Ex Factor 2.0.

Both programs, at a glance